It is hard to say Good Bye...

It has been over six weeks since my eldest sister’s husband, JijaJi, passed away due to cardiac arrest. His death was so sudden and unexpected that it was a real shock to all of us. I had spoken to him only a month earlier and he was cheerful and doing fine.

My eldest sister Jiji and I were very close and I have very fond memories of her from a very young age. When I was three year old, my father was at that time posted in a small city. Jiji used to go to school early in the morning and every afternoon I eagerly waited for her to come home. It was a joy to see her again. She used to laugh and hug me and we used to spend some quality time together. Our bond only grew stronger as we grew up and we had always been there for each other in time of our need.

JijaJi was a perfect life partner for Jiji and I know that she was very happy with him and they were happy together. He was an educator. He was highly respected by his peers and colleagues. He was one of the few people I have come across in my life, who did not expect anything from anyone and who would go out of his way to ensure that he is not a burden or problem to anyone. A saintly person, his love was for love sake. Our entire family loved him and we felt very fortunate that he was part of our family.

Unfortunately, Jiji passed away fifteen years ago. It was difficult to accept the fact that she was no more. However, Jija ji’s continued close relationship with us had acted as a cushion. After Jiji’s death, JijaJi immersed himself in his work at the Technical Institute he was associated with for a long time. After his retirement he continued working with his Institute as a consultant helping the Institute expand in other locations.

Now we have also lost JijaJi. It is difficult to reconcile with the fact that both Jiji and JijaJi are gone forever and it is so hard to say good bye.

I know that being a follower of Shri Krishna; I am not supposed to grieve. In Bhagvad Gita (BG), His sermon on the battlefield to His warrior friend and disciple Arjun approximately 5,000 years ago, Shri Krishna teaches us:

“The Blessed Lord said: While speaking learned words, you are mourning for what is not worthy of grief. Those who are wise lament neither for the living nor the dead.” BG 2.111

“As the embodied soul continuously passes, in this body, from boyhood to youth to old age, the soul similarly passes into another body at death. A self-realized soul is not bewildered by such a change.” BG 2.131

“For the soul there is never birth nor death. Nor, having once been, does he ever cease to be. He is unborn, eternal, ever-existing, undying and primeval. He is not slain when the body is slain.
As a person puts on new garments, giving up old ones, similarly, the soul accepts new material bodies, giving up the old and useless ones.”
BG 2.201

However we are human and it is natural for us to feel both joy as well as sorrow. It is understandable to grieve and cry when we lose a loved one. What Shri Krishna is teaching us is that we should not let ourselves be overwhelmed by grief into inaction. We should also not let grief, death or fear of death cloud our judgment to stop us from performing our duties.

We should cherish the memories and the time the loved one spent with us enriching our life. Although we should realize that the departed soul is on his next journey and we should pray for his peace and for his peaceful journey to the next life. The departed soul has moved on and eventually so should we.
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1" 'Bhagavad Gita As It Is' text courtesy of The Bhaktivedanta Book Trust International, Inc. www.krishna.com. Used with permission."